More than 8 years now, we are caring and loving our people living with some form of Dementia.
We live and care for 24 hours a day. We start our shift at 07h00 and go home at 19h00, for the new shift to start for the night. Most of the Angels work up to 18 shifts a month. That is around 220 hours a month that we spend with a Loved One.
We chose to do this!
We were chosen in this life to do this!
If they do not sleep at night, we are awake with them, chatting and serving warm soup or hot chocolate, and try many times to tuck them warmly in their beds. Or we make a bed on the couch for those who are too scared to sleep in a bed. We will help them chase away the nightmares, the hallucinations of spiders or bad people, long forgotten memories of their past, creeping back in their minds.
And when the first light of day comes we take a deep breath as the sleep might come, or maybe not. Then we have a fresh cup of tea with a sandwich to start the day and wait for the Angels of the day to bring their new energy to Jura.
And so the day start….
A big challenge is to get our Loved One out of bed. Some are depressed and do not have any purpose or energy to get their feet out of bed. Slowly we start with a warm cup of coffee and some home made rusks, no need to rush her out of bed. We have all the time at Jura.
Open the curtains, let the day flow in from the Ocean.
Slowly we succeed winning her out of the bed, getting her into the shower and together we can start a new day.
Two hours later she is feeling better and very hungry! Of course she hasn’t eaten for days! No one gives her anything to eat.
And her handbag has been stolen with all her money! She saw them! A dark girl with black long hair! She always steal her money! And we play along…
With her handbag on her lap with her purse full of money, she can sit back to a lovely breakfast.
She plays with her food, preparing another dish, because she is a housewife, cooking for her family. Adds some water from her cup, the scrambled eggs floating. Add a bit of sugar from the sugar bowl, which was left by mistake on the table after the cereal. Now her dish is ready to be eaten. But now it doesn’t taste that good anymore and she shuffs the plate away! One of the Angels slips into the chair next to her, and starts feeding her from a fresh plate while she is still trying to prepare her own meal.
With a full tummy she can go and sit in the garden, feeling the sun and take a little morning nap.
The Angels quickly clean up and rush for a well deserved cup of tea themselves.
Just in time after the short nap, a snack is served with some juice to try and keep her still at peace before she will start to roam around the gardens. With the last bite she gets up to start walking. She is a busy lady, her whole life.
Has to get to her parents now, they are waiting, and if she is late she will get a hiding. She gets so anxious that she is out of breath and as we walk and walk the garden, we listen and listen and give her time to vent. She is starting to feel a bit more relaxed, she is not alone. Slowly we divert her mind, slowly telling her that it is still early and we will go to Mother a little bit later after lunch. And she doesn’t have to worry, Mother knows exactly where she is.
Lunch is served, but she will not sit down. Eventually we told her, the table is ready where she booked a seat for lunch, and that made her feel so special, as she sit down to have her lunch. She thanked us, and took out the purse from the handbag to pay for her meal
Not today….today the meal is on the house…just for you!
And then she gets up and we walk and walk and walk again….
Her legs are swollen from all the walking, and her back aches, but she has to get to Mother soon.
Soon the sun is setting and with that her “Sundowners” are starting to wean down a bit.
Tired she comes into the lounge, looking for a soft couch as she sat down, grateful for the Angel with the cup of warm tea and a muffin.
As she sits down and enjoy her cup of tea, and the last crumbs of her muffin, her eyes no longer wants to stay open.
Her whole body collapsed into a soft bundle onto the couch.
The Angels let her be. They covered her with a warm blanket, too grateful for her to sleep. She can sleep and if she wakes up we will be there for her.
Maybe we will try and get her into her bed, maybe not…
And this is how the Night Angels finds her….
And so it gets on and on with all our Loved Ones at Jura. Each one has their own rythm or no rythm.
But we chose to do this.
We chose to be here.
We chose to love them and care for them until the end.
And when the end comes, a little piece of our heart gets ripped out.
And we mourn with the family who we grew to love over some years. Sometimes 7 years, sometimes 2. Who knows?
Some of them visit weekly or more, some we would see every month. Some live faraway, and we will see them hopefully once a year for a week or 3. They become our family too. We look forward seeing them, we share in their joy and see grand children grow up. We share in their pain when the family has bad news.
We help them to understand the sickness, help them to do and say the better thing not to upset their Loved One. Give them a hug when they leave in tears after an upsetting visit, after not being recognised, after being scolded.
They become our family for a couple of years while we love their Loved One for them and for us.
And when the end comes…
We loose a Loved one
but we also loose
a family!
It takes us a long time to grief our Loved one, but to loose the family is harder, because they just disappear out of our Jura lives. We shared the good and the bad with them for so long and then it just ends.
And that is life for us, the life we chose to love…… and to love…
Leave A Comment